Category: Self Improvement
What to do When You Don’t Know What to do
I talk to a lot of people as I go about my day and it’s become a painfully common theme that people are at their wits end and don’t know where to turn.
What’s happening in the economy is taking job trends like fewer people doing more and downward mobility in the workforce to whole new levels along with social and economic trends continuing to bring added pressure to bear in the workplace, to social trends that ask more and more of us, like the rising number of grandparents becoming responsible for raising their grandchildren. The places we use to turn to for support have either eroded or disappeared entirely and we have become the place that everyone else turns to for support.
The bad news? November probably won’t fix that; at least not quickly.
The face of life as we know it is changing in every way and the way we use to do things just won’t work anymore.
But if you’re like most people – you don’t know what will.
The old saw about if the only tool you have is a hammer we treat everything like a nail? The bad news is that we’re all going to need to invent new tools for ourselves and will continue to need to invent them as the ground changes beneath our feet.
The good news? Master that ability and you will discover whole new options becoming available for yourself that you never even dreamed about.
Here’s 3 steps to use that will consistently lay the groundwork for new Millenium agility every time you use them.
Step 1: Make it ok.
You’re going to need some room to maneuver and the most effective way to create that is by accepting things the way they are.
That doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on your circumstances, just that you’re facing every aspect of them and getting really honest about what they are.
Step 2: Learn from your past.
You have habitual ways of responding to things, and like another old saw the definition of insanity is to continue to do things the way you always do and expect different results. Figure out what those habits are and what beliefs have you acting that way.
Every moment can be your teacher; develop the habit of asking “what can I learn from this” and “what am I missing”. These are the kinds of questions that will help you develop the art of creating new tools as you need them.
Step 3: Dance with it.
Quite frankly, it kind of sucks that when you’re overwhelmed and getting buried by life’s demands everybody is lining up to tell you that you’re supposed to “take care of yourself” and “reduce your stress”. Really?
I am sorry to say that you do need to take care of yourself and reduce your stress, but I’m also here to tell that baby steps work!
What can you do today that would be taking care of you and take off some of your stress? Maybe it’s as simple as not cutting your lunch hour short because you have so much work to do. Maybe its skipping one of those errands you were going to try and squeeze in on the way home from work. Maybe it’s promising yourself 5 minutes alone just to think and relax.
Build that muscle group. If you do it in baby steps you may not notice how much better you feel but you will be on the road to healing and if you keep up the practice you will be shocked to discover how easy it is to spend part of every day taking care of yourself.
Your partner in saying “YES!” passionately to life,
Sometimes You Just Gotta Kill Something
I’m also Scotch-Irish (read that to mean “frugal”) and thought growing my own Periwinkle plants to cover the floor of our wooded glade seemed like a great idea.
Not a single one of them has survived to adult-hood.
And I have two little mini-greenhouses full of the next generation that I have yet to find time and energy to plant outside.
My radical insight? I’m tossing them over the balcony.
Not my nature at all. I’m even soft-hearted about plants. I hate the idea of taking healthy plants and condemning them to die. I hate the idea of waste.
And I’m doing it anyway.
I’ve got better things to do with my time and energy and I do mean that in a really big way.
And that’s just it! Big! Big means that sometime you have to let something die on the vine. Let it wither away. Release it and let it go.
And I’m here to declare I’m choosing big!
Your partner in choosing “BIG!”,
Are You Coloring Outside the Lines
I think it’s gotten really popular in marketing circles to brand ourselves as a “maverick”, an “outside the box” thinker, or a “renegade” but I think for the most part the people that talk about it the most are the ones that have most carefully constructed their persona. It’s their brand of cool, and if you don’t get it it’s because you’re not cool enough.
What if you don’t get it because it’s not genuinely original?
Or even worth bothering with?
Maybe this whole thing about being willing to fail miserably is really ALL about being willing to be authentically who we really are – no holds barred!
I color outside the lines all the time; it’s just who I am and I can’t (or maybe won’t) change that about myself. I grew up in such an eccentric, outrageous of brilliant, talented human beings that when this whole “think outside the box” movement started I was genuinely baffled. I’d devoted my life up to that point with trying to figure out what was in it!
All I knew was outside the box.
But it’s uncomfortable, and kids get beat on the playground for being genuinely outside the box, or get fired from their jobs, or in a fight with their spouse.
And what if it’s worthwhile anyway?
I love this picture posted here because it’s uncomfortable (available as a print here, by the way), and it makes me uncomfortable to look at. It’s off kilter and out of balance.
More on this later, but in the meantime – your partner in saying “YES!” passionately to life,
Power Thought on Seduction
It means that a seduction that takes place slowly, with only the most exquisite images and experiences for the imagination to work on and grab hold of, will yield powerful results.
Kathleen Tessaro Quotes
Find Your Happy Place
I ran across a cool article this weekend, offline and in print, of all things! (smile)
I was browsing through a pile of back issues and one of the magazines mentioned that Buddhist Monks experience on the average 600% more activity in the part of the brain associated with happiness than other people.
The Fourfold Way definitely has at least one big benefit!
Here’s to finding your happy place.
Your Partner in saying YES! to life,